And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
your like the ambassador to my penis.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
