you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
