he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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