Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
