i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
