Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
