Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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