lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
