he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
