One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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