Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
