I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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