Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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