so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
