apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think your dad took our porno
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
