Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
