i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
