Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
