after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
