I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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