I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
