So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
3 2 1 whiskey
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
