The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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