Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
