mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize