You really coming over, don't trick.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
