Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
