you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
