So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize