i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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