Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
