its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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