Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Barsexuality is the new black.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
