I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
