i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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