that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
