Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
