She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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