Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
