she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
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Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
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And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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