Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
