I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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