I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
