PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
