the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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