I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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