Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
