i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
