I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
