Kiss
Puke
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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