I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
