Plan B is the new Plan A
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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