He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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