why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
