Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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