well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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