tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
