it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
