i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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