well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
