you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
