It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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