So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
