when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize