just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Mom said you looked used
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
